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by nanuk_dain



Series: Impossible Relationships [28]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 03:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little girl thinks about the place she calls home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> **This is the end!** So, today is my birthday, and I thought that as a wee gift (to you, myself and my dear for _her_ birthday *hugs*), I'd finish this series today. Now, this is a wee bit different from all the other stories in this series, but I hope you like it nevertheless. Here's something you need to know: 'āppa' = father (regional/colloquial) and 'tāttā' = father in Sinhala (I hope I got that right, I did a lot of research... ^^). Lakmini calls Ray Āppa and Tim Tāttā, just so you know and there's no confusion ^^ 
> 
> I don't know how many still read this series (comments have been rare for the past few stories *sniff*), but I really hope you enjoyed the whole thing! And you totally would make my B-day even brighter if you left me a wee comment... *hands out pieces of her birthday cake* Enjoy! ^_^

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/nanuk_dain/pic/000be3gq)

As long as I can remember, Āppa and Tāttā have been there. I know there was a time when they weren't, Padma told me that, but I can't remember it. She says I was very young, that it happened before the Waves, before I was living at Bravo.

I don't remember that time, but I remember the Waves. At least I think I do. Sometimes they come to me in my dreams, and I don't like that. It scares me, scares me so much that I scream. Usually, Tāttā or Āppa are there when I wake up, and then I can cuddle up in their arms until I forget about the Waves. 

One of my first memories is of Āppa. I can't really place the memory, but I know that I was scared and alone and helpless and it was dark and then he was there and his arms were around me and he carried me. I don't remember any images, but I still know what his voice sounded like and how he didn't stop talking to me. I don't know what he said, but his voice made me feel safe, just like his arms around me. I still know what he smelled like, how rough the fabric of his clothes was, how I knew that he would protect me against all evil things, things like the Waves. There's also Tāttā in these memories, but he comes in later. The first thing I remember about him is his voice, it was so calm and sure and warm, and I knew he would protect me, just like Āppa. I remember his smile, soft and reassuring, and his eyes, intense and sincere and warm, and the strong, clean smell of medicine. He doesn't smell like that anymore, but it's still something I associate with Tāttā. 

Three weeks ago was my birthday. I turned six, and that means that when the holidays end I will be allowed to go to school with Usha, my best friend who lives next door. I will be a schoolgirl, with a beautiful uniform and my own bag for my books. Just like Madona. She's already in middle school, and they have a different uniform. It has a nice blue skirt and a fancy jacket. I was already allowed to try on the uniform I will wear, and Madona said I looked beautiful. I like Madona a lot. She's always so nice to me, tells me and Usha stories and plays games with us. She doesn't seem to mind that she's older than us. Kusum and Babi don't play with us anymore since they got in school last year, they say that we're children and that they're too old to play with little kids. I think that's not fair. They're just a year or two older than us.

On the morning of my first day of school, I'm nervous and I can't stop fidgeting. I'm playing with the seam of my dark green skirt and I shift from one foot to the other. 

“Stand still, Mini, or we'll never be done and then you'll be late.” Tāttā says calmly and gives me a chiding glance over the braid he's just tying off. The second one's still missing and I'm worried. I don't want to be late.

Tāttā looks at me and smirks. “I'll be done faster if you stop moving around.”

I nod and bite my lip, forcing myself to remain still. Tāttā's fingers comb through my hair, then he starts braiding it back with quick and skilled movements. He's good at it now, but I still remember the first time when Padma showed him and Āppa how to do a braid that is appropriate for a schoolgirl. I watched how they tried on Kusum and Babi who Padma had told to sit down and be still. Āppa created a total mess and Padma declared that he wasn't allowed near the girls' hair ever again, and so from then on it was up to Tāttā to do our braids. Shortly afterwards Madona was recruited to help, being the oldest girl at Bravo. She's really good at braiding and knows some beautiful styles. She told me once that her mother had taught her when she was younger. Madona always smiles when she mentions her mother and it makes her look beautiful.

“Done.” Tāttā says and gets up from where he's been kneeling next to me. He hands me my bag and a box that contains my lunch. “Here you go. Enjoy your first day.”

I take my things and nod seriously, still biting my lip. Tāttā leans down and puts his hand on my shoulder, giving me one of his warm smiles. I love those smiles. They're rare, but they make him glow somehow. “Don't worry, Mini, it'll be fine. Usha is with you, and Madona will bring you two to school and get you afterwards to show you the way during the first week. You're a big girl now, you'll make do.”

“I know, Tāttā.” I reply and straighten my shoulders. I'm a big girl, after all.

He winks. “I see you this afternoon. Then you can tell me how your first day was.”

I nod and head for the door where Madona is waiting for me so that we can get Usha and then walk to school. The day passes in a blur, and Tāttā was right, everything is fine. I like school, and I like my books and pens. I'm always very careful when I'm drawing letters so that I do them the right way. Every afternoon, Padma sits down with a group of children around my age and practises with us. 

I'm good in school, maybe because I like what we're doing. The teachers are strict but nice and I don't mind the homework. Madona learns with Usha and me when we don't know how to do something, and she's patient and explains things really well. The only thing that I don't like about school is Suresh, the biggest boy in my class. He's always so mean to me and the other girls. I've lost count of the times he pulled my braids, stole my pens or said mean things to me and Usha. I try to avoid him, and mostly I succeed. Until he makes Usha cry one day by snatching her writing pad from her hands and threatening to throw it in the mud.

“Hey!” I shout at him and step between him and Usha. “Give that back!”

“And if I don't? What do you want to do? You're just a whiny little girl!” He mocks me and lifts the writing pad so high that I can't reach it even if I jump.

“Give it back, you mean big idiot!” I know curse words. It wasn't Madona who taught me, though.

“I'm not an idiot!” Suresh shouts and his arms come down and push my shoulders with surprising strength. I lose balance and the ground connects hard with my right knee. When I get back to my feet my skirt is dirty and my knee hurts. I want to cry, but I won't because I will show Suresh that I'm not a whiny girl. Instead I jump forwards with all the momentum I can gather on the short distance and ram my shoulder against his chest. I think I took him by surprise, because he yelps and falls backwards until he's flat on the ground. I bend down to retrieve the writing pad he let go and glare at him before I go get Usha and we head home.

“What happened, little bug?” Āppa says with a frown when I come in the kitchen. He kneels down in front of me and touches my leg next to the red spot before he pulls out a clean tissue and gently dabs my knee. It hurts, but I try not to cry. I'm a big girl now.

“Suresh was mean to Usha. He stole her writing pad. I told him to give it back and then he pushed me.” I say and bite my lip to keep from flinching.

Āppa looks up and holds my gaze for a moment, then he raises an eyebrow. “I hope you pushed back.”

I suddenly grin because I _did_ push back, and I know Āppa will be proud of me. “I used all my strength, and I managed to make him fall.”

“Well, you see, now he's going to think twice before he pushes you again. Or any of the other girls, for that matter.” Āppa says with a satisfied smirk, then he holds up his hand. “High five, little bug. You did great.”

I grin widely and hit my hand to his. My knee doesn't hurt that much any more.

That evening, one of the older boys leaves Bravo. His name is Jegan, and I watch as an old woman closes her arms around him, tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. She's his grandmother, Madona explains when she comes over to me and climbs the tree to sit down next to me on the lowest branch. The old woman had been sure he'd died in the Waves like the rest of his family and had only now been found by Āppa and Tāttā.

“Would you want to leave too, like Jegan, and live with your family?” Madona asks after a while, her gaze following Jegan and his grandmother when they walk through the main gate. Āppa and Tāttā are standing in the courtyard, watching them leave. They're smiling.

“But I'm living with my family.” I say and shake my head in confusion. I don't understand what she's asking. “Why would I want to leave Āppa and Tāttā?”

Madona looks at me with a sad smile. “You know they're not really your Tāttā and Āppa, right, Lakmini?”

“Of course they are.” I frown. “Why do you say that they're not?”

“No child has two fathers, Mini.” She explains patiently, her tone gentle. “You have a father and a mother.”

“I don't.” I say resolutely. “I have Āppa and Tāttā.”

Madona looks at me for a long time, then she smiles gently and pats my head. “Yeah, you do, Mini.”

I think about what Madona has said to me, and I can't sleep because of it. I don't understand why she said it, and the next day I ask Padma when I help her clean up in the kitchen after dinner. She's putting away the last dishes and has just allowed the others to leave to sit outside for tonight's story. She stops working when I ask her, looks at me for a moment, then she lifts me up to sit on the table and stands in front of me. 

“Madona is right, Mini. Every child has a father and a mother, and so do you.” She stops and fixes me with her gaze. It's gentle but firm. 

“Where are they, then?” I ask with a frown of confusion. I can't remember a mother or any father other than Āppa and Tāttā.

“The Waves took them, Mini, when you were very young.” Padma replies sincerely. I nod. I knew the Waves were evil. “You know that some of the children left us in the past weeks. We found somebody of their family, and every child should live with their family. But most of the children here at Bravo have lost their family, just like you. But that doesn't mean that you're alone.”

“We have Āppa and Tāttā and you and Manisha.” I say and nod again.

“That's right, Mini. We are your family now.” Padma says and pats my hair. 

“Āppa and Tāttā won't leave me, will they?” I ask and bite my lip as the thought crosses my mind. “Since they're not _really_ my Āppa and my Tāttā?”

“Oh but they are your Āppa and your Tāttā, Mini. Maybe not by birth, but in every other way. And they won't ever leave you because they love you as much as you love them.” Padma replies with a smile. I like her smiles, they're so warm and honest, and I believe her.

“Okay.” I say quietly.

“Come now, Mini, it's story time.” Padma reminds me with another smile and offers me a hand when I jump off the table. “You don't want to miss one of your Āppa's stories, do you?”

“Never.” I say with a shake of my head, then I hurry out of the kitchen into the courtyard. The others are already sitting in a circle around Āppa. I walk up to Tāttā who's sitting in his usual spot in the back, and he lets me climb into his lap. I curl up into a tiny ball, just like I do every evening, and I cuddle up in his arms that are closing around me, warm and familiar and safe. Once I'm comfortable, I look over to Āppa and listen to his voice. It's rich and energetic and mesmerising, drawing pictures in my mind of places I have never seen, scents I have never smelled, tastes I have never experienced, and I love every second of it. On my back, Tāttā's hand draws lazy circles while he, too, listens to Āppa's story. I smile. 

For me, this is home.


End file.
